North Korea, Best Korea!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
