the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
