Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
