What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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