we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
