pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize