woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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