Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
