there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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