He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
pop tarts are not kleenex
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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