He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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