If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you win again, gameday.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
