I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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