I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
