hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize