Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
