He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
