you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
