Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
