Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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