too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
