I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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