Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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