She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Well I just put wine in my tea
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
