I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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