Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
