It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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