Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Bring me that man meat
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
