Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dignity is for republicans.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
