I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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