Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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