What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
