We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
All the doctor said was why
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
