who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
