I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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