I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's official drugs can't kill me
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
