i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
