I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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