I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
