My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
