Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize