i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
