These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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