doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
