So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
