There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
