It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
