I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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