She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
its not stalking. its research.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
