Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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