found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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