Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
