half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
