You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
