Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
is wine microwaveable?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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