Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Someone came in the potted fern
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
