You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
