I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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