I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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