he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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