Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
