It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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