please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
