Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
