Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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